We’ve all had that feeling at the cinema, when it seems like the advertisements will go on forever and you’ll never get to the film. “Night of the Adeaters” is that scenario realised: a feature length screening where the ads have become the show.
Feature length is not quite accurate, though. Feature length implies your average motion picture running time; let’s say around 100 minutes. Maybe 120. Dubai’s Adeaters comprised two 80-minute halves. That’s two hours and forty minutes of adverts.
The limited audience (on night two, less than half the theatre was occupied when the lights went down) was told that the original running time of six hours had been reduced. Six hours? Given some of the ads that survived the cull, Communicate shudders to think what got left out.
The event comprised of a long sequence of adverts from around the world, displayed on big screens for the delectation of assembled industry pros. Each attendee was given a party horn to signal their dislike of any of the commercials.
The ads were diverse, with occasional themes. Some were brilliantly good, some were magnificently bad, and some were so devastatingly average you wondered why they were included at all. By banishing the mundane we might all have got home at a reasonable hour.
The worst of the night came from Audi, an ad with the strap line: “He’s got the power, the money, the Audi – the soul. He will get the woman.” It felt like advertising by fifteen year-olds, for fifteen year-olds, and went down like a lead balloon with the audience, and the barrage of horn sounds was deafening. (Communicate enjoyed this. We’re starting to think this is the way to judge every ad contest in future; imagine Cannes winners decided by clap-o-meter. In fact, judges could use it everywhere, from the Oscars to elections. If nothing else, it’s got a degree of transparency.)
There was redemption for Audi, though, in the form of a dog chasing a car in the snow, the mutt ending up in a ditch when he is out-cornered. The ad, part of a series, was easily the night’s best and prompted Communicate’s guest – who has nothing to do with the industry – to lean over and state, with certainty, “Animal ones are always good.” It occurs to us that this may have been the truest comment ever offered at an industry event.
As the curtain fell on the first half of the show, the audience made for either the outside bar (for sustenance), or the exit (for escape). In support of the struggling event, Communicate chose to stay, though we’ll admit the refreshments helped numb the pain. Like parents obliged to return for the second half of the disastrous school musical – unable to watch, unable to leave – we bravely shuffled our way back in.
“What are you waiting for?” shouted a girl in the fifth row as we all waited for part two to begin. “Everyone to come in,” replied our compere. The sad truth is, they all were in; the break had become the great escape, and only around fifty people of 150 remained.
And you can’t blame them, really. This regional Adeaters was handicapped from the start, though not by the concept. By holding the event on a Thursday and Friday night, the organisers had a tough sell – their target audience works long, hard weeks, and won’t give up its weekends without a fight. The poor turnout was as predictable as it was painful.
But the exodus of those who did make the effort to attend was for valid reasons. Firstly, because they were disappointed with what they were shown – an ad “showcase” populated with too many average, and sometimes old, ads (some were from as far back as 1994). And secondly, because of the running time. No matter how much you love ads, they are designed to capture the attention for a minute at a time; not three hours.
This was not the best of global advertising. This was not the most interesting, or most exciting global advertising. This was just a long bunch of adverts in a row; if we want that we’ll go to the cinema – at least we’ll get a film afterwards.